Essays, guides, and recommendations on the Loner Mindset, Books, Analog Living, Solo Travel & Mindful Consumption.
🌻 How to Enjoy Your Own Company
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Do you like being with yourself? Spending time alone doesn’t usually sound idyllic. Single women are often cast as unfortunate spinsters. Reserving a table for one is a famously embarrassing cliché. From single prom nights to flying solo at weddings to loner Valentine’s Day celebrations, having the guts to go it alone instead of relying on the comfortable, however mediocre, presence of a date is often frowned upon (or at least considered lame). What gives? Why is doing things alone so widely considered scary, nerve-wracking, and judgment-inducing? Societal expectations are a big factor. Young people without a lot of friends are “weird,” and as one approaches the big 30, the pressure is on to find your soulmate. Biology is another factor. Humans are social creatures, and no matter how independent one is, it’s perfectly natural and normal to want to be included, invited, and liked. But I contend that a big part of the fear, anxiety, and judgment that come with being alone stem from the fact that too many of us don’t really know ourselves all that well. We might know what kind of friend we are (or want to be). The funny one. The bold one. The empathetic one. What kind of co-worker we are. The creative one. The one who gives kick-ass presentations. The lord or lady of spreadsheets. And though it’s often an internal battle, we have ideas (usually, too many) about who we are (and are trying to be) as lovers, partners, daughters, brothers, fathers, aunts. But who are you when you aren’t any of these things? Who are you when you are just you, alone with yourself, separate from any titles, tasks, or relationships? Do you like being with yourself? Sometimes, that answer is an easy yes. “Yes, I’m funny, smart, and I know I’m pretty cute.” But depending on what the mirror, the meanies, and our internal haters have reported that day, coming up with a comfortable, sunny answer to that question isn’t always a given—especially for the young’uns. Per a 2021 report from YouGov on how Americans perceive themselves, almost one-quarter (24%) of Americans under 35 “say they don’t like themselves most or all of the time.” (On average, 14% of US adults (aged 18+) had the same sentiment.) As sad as that statistic is, I don’t believe it’s static. Like that weird friend you didn’t click with at first but now love, sometimes it takes time to love yourself. Learning to enjoy your own company can help you get there. THE SHORTLIST: Enjoy my own company? The why & how
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Essays, guides, and recommendations on the Loner Mindset, Books, Analog Living, Solo Travel & Mindful Consumption.
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