Solitude is a funny thing.

When you have too much of it (the wrong kind), you get loneliness, depression, and a big old case of “Is everyone having fun without me?”

But not enough solitude (i.e., that cherished “me time” and enough peace, quiet, and serenity to “fill your cup” as they say, and you get cranky, aloof, restless, or bored.

(No, just me?)

Apparently, not just me.

This month on A Merry Loner, we shared stories about losing friends, finding friends, losing friends again, and learning to find friendship with yourself.

Because you, my friend, are your own everlasting gobstopper. From moving to a new city to solo-traveling around the world, YOU are everywhere. There is no escaping you. So you’d better learn how to love you.

Posts You May Have Missed

🌻 Moving to a New City in Your 30s—Feeling Lonely in Your “Prime”​

GUEST POST ALERT! This month, Gavin Williams opens up about feeling lonely in what was supposed to be his prime. What do you do when you have the job, the house, the partner, the baby—and even a room with a view to the sea—but something is still missing? Apparently, you descend into existential dread. (Been there, done that.) Or you have the courage to push yourself, to make a change, and to find fulfillment in yourself when life isn’t fulfilling enough. READ​

🌻 Extroverts Can Be Loners, Too: How Solo Travel Taught Sarah Silvia to Love Spending Time Alone​

When Sarah Silvia booked a one-way ticket to Spain to become an au pair just a few months after graduating college early, she had next to no travel experience under her belt and wasn’t sure what to expect. But something clicked. What started as a leap of faith ended up becoming her new way of life. Now, solo travel isn’t just something Sarah enjoys—it’s something she actively seeks out to reset, explore, and learn more about herself.

In the fourth installment of our Loner Q&A series, this former barista, ESL teacher, and self-described extrovert shares how she grew to love spending time alone, why flying solo feels easier abroad than at home, and how solo travel can actually be one of the best ways to meet new people. READ​

🌻 21 Quotes for Traveling Alone​

What makes us want to collect (dare I say hoard) quotes? Words of wisdom plucked from a writer, artist, or some other sage figure that struck some magical, harmonic chord within us.

Words are our friends when the world is screaming too loud. When small talk is insufficient and corporate speak, ubiquitous. Someone, somewhere has already found just the right thing to say to soothe you and move you and keep the existential dread at bay. These are some of them—the traveling alone version. READ​

From the Archives

You are your own everlasting gobstopper.

• ​No Date? No Problem—A Guide to Dating Yourself in 2025: “Dating yourself doesn’t have to be cheesy, awkward, or embarrassing… It’s about learning how to feel comfortable in your own company—and not waiting until you have a partner to do the things you love.”
• ​How to Balance Solitude and a Social Life: A Dual Guide for Introverts & Extroverts: “3 easy ways to socialize without giving up your alone time and 3 ways to embrace alone time without giving up your social life.”
• ​Accepting Your Fate: How to Accept Being Alone: “There is a fine line between being lonely and being empowered and I cracked the code to bridge that gap.”

A Merry Loner’s Community

🌻 197 new Merry Loners joined our community.

• 56 more people subscribed to A Merry Loner’s newsletter—that makes us a cozy community of 451.

• 141 more people followed us on Instagram, where we’re now 1,167+ And we’re growing fast. For A Merry Loner (Aesthetic Version), join us on Instagram.

🌻 More readers sent us love letters.

And In the Real World…

• I booked a vacation… for September. (Because according to research led by Wei Zhang at Iowa State University, people who book their vacations in advance enjoy their vacations more.) Two weeks in Cyprus. The plan? Wear a sundress. Eat an orange. Read in the grass. And swim. (How could one not enjoy this?)
• I spent Easter weekend in Bourgogne (also reading in the grass, plus biking, wine-ing, assisting with beekeeping, and learning the secrets of the French countryside from a retired agriculteur).
• I started taking sewing classes. Because according to other science from the Academy of Management Journal, Creativity Research Journal, etc., we need hobbies. Like, really. Especially hobbies that aren’t jobs in disguise that we do on the side to make extra money and try to convince ourselves “it’s our passion.” Or worse—your real passion that you force yourself to turn into a side hustle because 1) you’re struggling and can’t afford rent or 2) you’re not struggling and thus have created a struggle for yourself by telling yourself you must work yourself to death and amass enough money to retire by 40.

My first project was a pillowcase. (Look, mom!)

To finding enjoyment in life and other ways to remind yourself: It’s not all about the money.

ttfn,

Merry