A space to learn how to enjoy your own company and make life less scary and more exciting.
How to Ask for Space from People You Love
How to Ask for Space from People You LoveRomantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise, clearing that space takes courage to ask for what we need. It would do even extroverts well to spend more conscious time alone (admits this one extrovert who learned to enjoy spending time just with herself). Yes, we humans are social creatures, but even the most garrulous among us need time away from our herd, not because that herd is unpleasant or cloying, but because when we are constantly part of a group, we cannot truly be ourselves. Certainly, there are people to whom we feel we can say anything, people who seem to understand our thoughts and intentions by grace of some unnamed, intangible force, sometimes even before we ourselves are aware of what’s forming within. But even they take our time and attention (no matter how willing we are to give it) away from our own internal dialogue. And we need this internal dialogue to work through new ideas, experiment freely, and decide for ourselves what we think, value, and feel. Our internal dialogues are something to be preserved. And like all good things in life, sometimes ensuring that preservation means fighting for it. But how to do so without leaving a bruise? How can we ask for space in a relationship?
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To asking for what you need, Merry
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Merry of "A Merry Loner"
A space to learn how to enjoy your own company and make life less scary and more exciting.
Did a friend forward you this newsletter? You can get your own, for free. Just subscribe here. Need to take a break from emails? That's okay. You can change your email address or unsubscribe. Hello, Reader. It's Merry here, the American-raised, Paris-based writer with another message about finding confidence and comfort in your own company, so you can stop waiting on other people to enjoy your life. Last time, I shared six reasons why spending time alone can be good for you. Today, we're...
There are many benefits of solitude, but you have to give yourself the chance to sit there. It’s the tale as old as time: “I’m afraid I will die alone.” While such a worry often comes to us in more dire moments, like when a relationship dissolves or family ties begin to come undone, the fear of being alone also creeps its way into our everyday activities: going to a wedding alone; traveling alone; living alone; even celebrating Valentine’s Day alone. When we compare our inner circle to that...
When you’re confident and comfortable in your own company, it becomes easier to talk to strangers, reach out first, and make plans repeatedly. That’s what builds friendship, whether you’re moving to a new city or just facing a social dry spell. We are suffering from a loneliness epidemic. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you. Depending on whom you talk to, some might even tell you we’re suffering from a male loneliness epidemic, specifically. Whether we let men claim loneliness as their own...